Flash back on the "day"

Monday (7th Sep 2009), "she" asked me to see her. Guess what is the topic for the discussion?

S: "she" ; M : Me

S: your replacement will be here today, so what you want to do. You have 2 choices,
a) You tender resignation
b) I fire you

M: **keep quiet, I wanted to tell her i will tender, but i still want to see what else she will do to me and what else she wants to say to me. so as per what i expect, she continue with her "valuable" talk**

S: You not worth the money the company paying you. You not qualify to hold the current position that you are holding.

M: **deep in my heart, i am laughing** why? Because she is the one who interviewed me, she is the one who hire me!! So if she thinks i am not worth the money and not qualify to hold my current position, so means that she judge me wrongly when she interviewed me! LOL! Oh..what a big mistake she had done in her life!

S: During that time, because we desperate need someone to backfill the person who's leaving, that's why we are willing to pay you that much.

M: **still keep quiet** who cares u r desperate looking for people or whatsoever. bottom line is, the company willing to pay me the salary that i asked for...so if you think i am overpaid, then u should have hilight this to the HR when you want to hire me

S: you don't have such a big head, you should wear such a big hat. You are not worth the money that the company pay you.

M: **Duh** 佛都有火. (Buddha also got fire) But i still remain cool and keep showing her my silly face. Since i already decided to tender, what for i go justify and clarify and explain to her so much.

she continue fi li fa la talk non stop and i listen half don't listen half until don't sure for how long, finally she ler me go. she asked me to tell her my final decision by end of the day.

Oh yeah, before i left, she said:-
S: I want you to train up the replacement and then come to me and tell me whether he can handle the job or not.

M: **who cares! Again, u r the one who hire him, and you go and access him! I am leaving anyway, i don't even bother whether he will be able to handle the job or not, coz this is none of my business**

For the whole session, i just "ummm", "ok". and nothing much. What else u want me to say. Beg her? Cry in front of her? Or what knee down and apologies?" If i do so, i must be losing my mind !

Later i went to my desk, check on the chat archive between me and my replacement, he rold me he will be here on Tuesday (8th Sep 2009). I don't even bother to let her know that she's wrong, coz she may scold me back saying i gave her wrong info bla bla. She always has her own reason to scold me, as to her, i am stupid, i am dumb. And she is the greatest of all! So who cares!

What have i done on this auspicious day 09/09/09

Lots of people especially couple choose to get registered, married on this auspicious day, 09/09/09. SO DO I!! Me getting married? Nope, me going for giving birth? Nope, me going for my birthday celebration? Nope......then what did i do then...
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I, finally TENDER my RESIGNATION! After so long, finally i did that on this auspicious day. He said i should have done it on 09/09/09 09:09:09am! Geez, i missed the auspicious time though. Never mind, i pick the day but not the time!

With this, i hope good luck will come to me and follow me as long as i wish!

How much does happiness cost?

Can someone tell me how much do i need to pay for a day of happy at work?
I am more than willing and happy to pay for it.

Can someone tell me how to avoid get blame for things that not under my job scope?
I am more than happy to pay you if you can give me to tips or hints.

Can someone tell me how to how to get out from this messy place?
I am more than happy to pay you if you can get me out from this place.

I know, money is not everything, but without money, everything also cannot do.
That's why i am still stuck here even though i am not happy! even though my life is so miserable! even though everyday i go to work with happy face, and the moment i step into my work place, my back started to get shoot now and then!

If everyone don't have to work, how nice!
If money can buy happiness, how nice!
If i have money and power to shut these people away, HOW NICE!

my 2 kids

For don't know what reason, my 2 kids seems have very good relation with Ms Goh and uncle James. When Kaitlyn sees uncle James, she will be very excited and she will show the "come, carry me" sign.

But again, with those people who has blood relation, they don't seems bother to know their grandkids progress. Well, maybe they do get update from their son. And one thing that i am SURE is, they NEVR spend any single cent on my 2 kids!ARGH!!!

Even when strangers see my kids, some will play with them. And again, why the paternal grandparents has no feel on them. Maybe like friend said, it's better for them don't come over as me and them do not have any chemistry in between.

I need your input

Chat with a friend on my thought of resign and stay at home.
He said, as long as hubby can support the household expenses, then can consider. But, actually my case is more complicated, as the problem is myslef.

First, i cannot let go my salary;
Second, i cannot let go my income;
Third, i cannot let go my wages;
so overall conclusion is, i cannot let go my pay!

So how?

And he said it took him 2 yrs to think over his wife's proposal to be full time house wife. So does it means i need to nag hubb for another few ore yrs before he agree to let me become full time housewife? No no, i don't want to be full time housewife, i want to be full time MUMMY. Because my full time housewife = maid; as full time housewife need to wash clothes, sweep floor, mop floor, cook, iron clothes...eww ; whereas full time mummy is just send, pick up kids from school, play with them, supervise them on their homework. Am i right? LOL!

So continue to work or continue to appeal for full time mummy application??

Welcome to 'si lai' club!

Is this what i want?

Recently, i being assigned something new in my job. And things started to change, my nightmare come...

First of all, i being escalated by the customer for no reason...darn
Second, again i bring escalated by the customer for no reason...double darn...
Third, Fourth will be same too....

I really have no idea why that lady keep biting at me. Friend said, maybe she afraid of me will go complain on her, so she complain and back stab me first. Well, frankly, ever since i start to take up this new assignment, i feel very upset, unhappy, and every night i have to work til late night, midnight, and i am working now. While waiting for data loading, i sneak and update my blog. Feel so guilty as i didn't update my kids blog promptly. I will try my best to update theirs.

Usually i will be in the room with the 2 kids, tugging both of them at the same time. One hand hugging Kaitlyn and the other hand pat Kelvin. But for these few night, i need to shut my ears as Kelvin will cry so badly when he doesn't see me in the room when he wants to sleep.While i am typing this, i heard Kelvin crying in the room. But, i can't walk into the room, coz when he sees me, he will cry even louder. so i will leave to hubb to handle him.

As for Kaitlyn, mom needs to help me tug her to sleep. Every night, mom will let her sleep in cradle in her house, then send her home and make sure she's still sleeping when she reached our house so that i can continue to do my work without interruption. And u know what, i used to nurse her before she sleeps, and for these few days, because i am so tight up with my FOREVER unfinished job, so i didn't nurse her, mom bottle feed her and tug her to bed. And i noticed that, for those night that i didn't nurse her before she sleeps, when she wakes up at middle of the night, she will look around as if she is looking for something and when i go near her, she will throw me a SWEET smile middle of the night and continue to sleep. My heart sank when i see her doing so. I feel so guilty.

I am not sure what i should do next!
I am so upset at work, and i am having 2 upset kids at home. All because of me. Sometimes i am so frustrated coz i need to stay late and get my job done and i am so tired, so i will be a bit frustrated when Kelvin wants to play with me. I will just shut him off. I am such a lousy and bad mom! As for hubb, i hardly talk to him nowadays, coz i feel exhausted and tired, and i don't know how and what to tell him. I don't want to bring the unhappiness from work back home, but my face and expression betray me! I am such a lousy wife at the same time too!

PLEASE tell me, what should i do. Seriously, if my company ever offer VSS again, i will TAKE IT without any DOUBT. I am willingly to forgo my pay and what i want is happy life. I am very tired and exhausted. GOD, HELP ME if you HEAR ME!

I am here!!

Hello all....i am still alive and kicking.

Back to work on January09 from my maternity leave and temporary doing some easy job, kicking and shaking my legs for the past 2 months plus and then now being assign on a new assignment, actually is doing back the previous role as global demand planner. The only different is taking care another business unit and this business unit is more towards buy and sell, so again different as the business uni that i handle before i go for maternity leave...hello...u still there with me or already confuse by me?

ok, in summary, i am now picking up something new and quite busy. Still adjusting myself to the working world as i have been in dreamland for quite some time. So pls bear with me, i will be ow in updating my baby blog and personal blog.