Let's have fun!

Today is my 3rd day at my new world and apprently today is our department's team building day. We are going for lunch. And all of us thought that we need to go back to office continue to work after the lunch, however, our boss said NOPE NOPE NOPE!

According to him, in US, as long as it's team building day, the team observe half day off. So what we gonna do after lunch??

Hiking
Movie
Bowling

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And the final decision is Bowling. **what a relief for me** I so scared when someone suggested hiking. I am not gonna hike under hot sun, later i will come back like little red indian.

In another 25 mins time, we will call the day off and head to Golden Triangle at Juru Auto City for lunch. After that, we will be going to Megamall for bowling. Has been LONG time i didn't bowl, am sure i will wash the bowling drain clean and clear. And also hopefully my hand wont be cacat-ed by tomorrow.

Let's have fun!!

Flash back on the "day"

Monday (7th Sep 2009), "she" asked me to see her. Guess what is the topic for the discussion?

S: "she" ; M : Me

S: your replacement will be here today, so what you want to do. You have 2 choices,
a) You tender resignation
b) I fire you

M: **keep quiet, I wanted to tell her i will tender, but i still want to see what else she will do to me and what else she wants to say to me. so as per what i expect, she continue with her "valuable" talk**

S: You not worth the money the company paying you. You not qualify to hold the current position that you are holding.

M: **deep in my heart, i am laughing** why? Because she is the one who interviewed me, she is the one who hire me!! So if she thinks i am not worth the money and not qualify to hold my current position, so means that she judge me wrongly when she interviewed me! LOL! Oh..what a big mistake she had done in her life!

S: During that time, because we desperate need someone to backfill the person who's leaving, that's why we are willing to pay you that much.

M: **still keep quiet** who cares u r desperate looking for people or whatsoever. bottom line is, the company willing to pay me the salary that i asked for...so if you think i am overpaid, then u should have hilight this to the HR when you want to hire me

S: you don't have such a big head, you should wear such a big hat. You are not worth the money that the company pay you.

M: **Duh** 佛都有火. (Buddha also got fire) But i still remain cool and keep showing her my silly face. Since i already decided to tender, what for i go justify and clarify and explain to her so much.

she continue fi li fa la talk non stop and i listen half don't listen half until don't sure for how long, finally she ler me go. she asked me to tell her my final decision by end of the day.

Oh yeah, before i left, she said:-
S: I want you to train up the replacement and then come to me and tell me whether he can handle the job or not.

M: **who cares! Again, u r the one who hire him, and you go and access him! I am leaving anyway, i don't even bother whether he will be able to handle the job or not, coz this is none of my business**

For the whole session, i just "ummm", "ok". and nothing much. What else u want me to say. Beg her? Cry in front of her? Or what knee down and apologies?" If i do so, i must be losing my mind !

Later i went to my desk, check on the chat archive between me and my replacement, he rold me he will be here on Tuesday (8th Sep 2009). I don't even bother to let her know that she's wrong, coz she may scold me back saying i gave her wrong info bla bla. She always has her own reason to scold me, as to her, i am stupid, i am dumb. And she is the greatest of all! So who cares!

How much does happiness cost?

Can someone tell me how much do i need to pay for a day of happy at work?
I am more than willing and happy to pay for it.

Can someone tell me how to avoid get blame for things that not under my job scope?
I am more than happy to pay you if you can give me to tips or hints.

Can someone tell me how to how to get out from this messy place?
I am more than happy to pay you if you can get me out from this place.

I know, money is not everything, but without money, everything also cannot do.
That's why i am still stuck here even though i am not happy! even though my life is so miserable! even though everyday i go to work with happy face, and the moment i step into my work place, my back started to get shoot now and then!

If everyone don't have to work, how nice!
If money can buy happiness, how nice!
If i have money and power to shut these people away, HOW NICE!

I need your input

Chat with a friend on my thought of resign and stay at home.
He said, as long as hubby can support the household expenses, then can consider. But, actually my case is more complicated, as the problem is myslef.

First, i cannot let go my salary;
Second, i cannot let go my income;
Third, i cannot let go my wages;
so overall conclusion is, i cannot let go my pay!

So how?

And he said it took him 2 yrs to think over his wife's proposal to be full time house wife. So does it means i need to nag hubb for another few ore yrs before he agree to let me become full time housewife? No no, i don't want to be full time housewife, i want to be full time MUMMY. Because my full time housewife = maid; as full time housewife need to wash clothes, sweep floor, mop floor, cook, iron clothes...eww ; whereas full time mummy is just send, pick up kids from school, play with them, supervise them on their homework. Am i right? LOL!

So continue to work or continue to appeal for full time mummy application??

Welcome to 'si lai' club!

女人何苦为难女人? Why??

大家都是女人，唯一不一样的是，我结了婚，你还没。我再次怀孕了，你从未。以你这样的态度，恐怕没什么男人可以接受你!!!! 是不是就是这一些不一样，所以你无法了解我? 我没希望你会了解我，因为我们俩是来自不同的世界。我的世界里有爱，你的世界没有爱。你的世界里只有你自己! 但是，请别以为别人是没感觉的!

从开始到现在，我不懂自己，因为你的每句话哭了多少遍，我每次都告诉自己要坚强，但是我却做不到！原来我并不是想象中那么坚强! 但是唯一的是，我从未在你面前掉过一颗泪，所以可以说我还有一点点的坚强! 我不要让你看到我脆弱的一面!

身边的朋友一直叫我别在意你所说的每句话，我有尝试过，但我没法做到。
希望明天会更好!

********************
We both are lady, the only different between u and me is, i am married and you ARE NOT. I am Pregnant again and YOU NEVER. With your such attitude, afraid not many guy will dare to get close to you. Is it because of this, thus you are unable to understand me? I NEVER expect you to understand me, because we are from different world. In my world, there is LOVE, an in your world, there is NO LOVE. In your world, you are the ONLY PERSON. But, don't because of this, you thought everyone has no feeling.

From begin til now, i am not sure how many tears being dropped because of your WORD, because of how you treated me. Every time i keep telling myself MUST be tough, but i fail to do so. I am not that tough as per other thought. But...one thing i am proud of myself is, i NEVER drop one drop of tear in front of you, because i don't want to show you my weakness!

Friends keep telling me DON'T BOTHER so much on what you said to me, i tried, but i can't!
Am looking forward to a better TOMORROW!

No mood

I'm in bad shape these few days...

Received my performance feedback review and it was sucks!!! But in fact, it's what i predicted but i don't wish it comes truth. But anyhow, i did! DARN!!

I started to hate my current job. It's very hard to work when you hate whatever you are doing now. But, i have a son waiting for me at home and recently we decided to buy a house and the deal actually came truth. So i cannot walk out from my job. Frankly, if i don't have any commitment, i will walk out from where i'm working.

No matter what, life still move on, cannot let the small hiccup ruin my life, i have a cute little pie waiting for me at home.

My story

Come, let me share some "interesting" story with you guys!

Today, i had a "meaningful" conversation with my manager.

M : Manager
J : Me

Ok, 2:15pm, after back from wee wee, i went to her place. She showed me one of the Green Belt project documentation from one of our colleague. She read skip read skip the document, and towards the end,

M: Probably you can join this Green Belt project as they need someone to assist them in pulling data. The current guy that who suppose work on this is overload
J: (Quiet, as i don't feel like talking to her)
M: Well, as the project member for this, you need to know the procurement data as they are doing data clean up now. (Her reaction was like , "i don't think u can handle it!")
J: ( Again, i don't talk, just force myself to smile back at her)
M: How familiar are you with the PLM database
J: (thought of telling her i uses PLM for almost 6 yrs!) Errm, i uses PLM database when i was in Planning team
M: Which table you uses?
J: (Hello, there is tonnes of tables in PLM) Mostly planning related to generate planning report
M: (ask me to learn link table again! duh!) You need to master the data model and probably need to link multiple tables to get the data
J: (always ask me to link table! duh!! sian loh!) Ok ok
M: If i ask the guy to give u his original SQL script, will it help? Are you able to execute it?
J: (Wei, hit the execute button will do mah! Tot i am really that computer illiterate!) Well, better, i don't have to start to write the query from scratch!
M: You think about it and let me know your decision
J: (wah lau-eh, ask me to think and consider, thought she's suppose to assign thing for me to do???) Ok
M: If you don't want to involve in the project, probably i will reject the request, because we have resource constraint
J: (WHAT???!!!!!! Blame on me pula! Again, smile at her) Ok

Next topic
M : What do you think about current arrangement?
J: Well, not much involvement in project, so i can't comment much or feedback much
M: Oh yeah yeahhh.....we need content expert in the projects
J: (ok fine!!! what else u expect me to say when u keep saying me not content expert for procurement! Force me to go over procurement, leaving my planning knowledge behind and now keep hitting me saying i don't have procurement knowledge!)
M: Do you receive the face to face meeting invitation?
J: I think i do...but not for next week, it's week after next
M: You are not the official resource for the project, so you are not invited to next week's meeting. Let me check with the meeting organizer whether you can join the meeting or not as you know, you are not the official resource, so it's not go good for you to join them in meeting room
J: (DUH!!!!!!!! me not official resource!! When u guys force me to come over, you said i will be helping in this project!!) It's ok, since me not official resource!
M: Do you think i should ask BH to loop you in into his emails and meeting with the US folks?
J: (me piss off with her previous comment) If they really need my help, then loop me in, else NO NEED!

Next Topic
M: About next week's dinner, you have difficulty arranging transportation
J: Yes, i need to pick my son from nursery
M: Maybe u can leave earlier to pick up your son. (Leave early? those who know my previous problem, you think i can leave early?
J: (just keep quiet)
M: Well, maybe we can do it this way, whoever come first eat first, come later eat later, and those cannot come, it's ok
J: (u said it's team dinner and u said so!!!!! not sincere at all! Btw, i booked table for normal dinner, how come be come first eat first...those come late eat table and chair??? So i keep quiet and force myself to SMILE...)
M: do you have any question for me?
J: Yes, about the new salary pay range
M: Eh, out already meh?
J: YES, it's out already. I spoke with ex-boss earlier and he said it's out
M: oh ok ok , let me check and get back to you

Thought it's end....but few mins later..my phone ring!
M: Hello Joanne , it's me
J: hi
M: ok, here is the new salary range...tatatata dadadadada blablabla
J: ok
M: May i know what is the conversation between you and ur ex-manager
J: About the job reclassification
M: Oh, what is his respond
J: (piss off liao still ask me more!) TYPICALLY MANAGEMENT TALK!!
M: Can you elaborate more
J: (wah lau, me on fire liao!) ta da ta da ta da...
M: Well, yeah, this is the way we did it
J : NOPE, this is not what i understand from previous manager! They do consider their previous working experience...
M: Only those relevant.
J: Yes, me has planning experience for 6 YRS!! And you guys didn't consider it at all!!!
M: (again all piss off talk)

And at last she said probably i can lead planning project...WHAT???!!! Force me to move to procurement, and no assignment for me and now want to throw me back to planning..tot me s ball is it!!! ARGH!!!!

Help me, what the heck is this!!! So piss off!!!

Cool down, me going back now to see my sweet little pie!!!

A Day in the Zoo

**All the characters in this blog are merely fictional,any similarities to anyone in real life are mere coincidence**

One sunny day,since i have nothing better to do, so i go to the nearby "AT" Zoo.
When i was there, i saw a parrot talking to a goat by the name "Scape", in another word, parrot talking to a scapegoat. Their conversation is roughly on the allegation that the chicken in the jungle made on the scapegoat, and the parrot become the messenger between the two. The chicken in the jungle is so high class that she can't walk out from the jungle and talk to the scapegoat.

P- Parrot
C- Chicken in the jungle
S - Scapegoat

P : I talked to C after our conversation, and she understand the whole situation
already, are you ok with that?
S : (Of course not ok lah!!! Who will feel happy after being stab for unknown reason)
Well, to me, i personally feel that if someone happen to make a unjust
accusation on another person, he/she should apologies personally with that
person and not go through someone else to pass the message
P: (As expect, the P will side C) Oh no no no, she didn't make any accusation on
you,she just ask
S: Well , to me, making a statement without any solid reason or proof is consider
as accusation. And why at the first place she make such a statement on me?
P: Oh, she saw you few times coming in late and ONE TIME go off early
S: Oh, the few times coming in late and ONE time go off early , so she can simply
make a conclusion!
P: expected again! show the chicken look!) Oh, maybe that day when i talked to you,
my tone not very good, i apologies if i am too rough
S: Oh, no no, your tone is just nice, you don't seems offense me or anything. It's
her statement that make me feel uneasy

Scapegoat kept telling the parrot that her tone is just nice, nothing wrong with her tone, yet the parrot keep saying it's her problem, bla bla bla...and finally...

P: I apologies on behalf of the chick
S: NO!!! It's nothing relate to you. It's between me and her NOT me and you!!!
P: (Keep quiet for a while! Again, apologies again!)
S: (DUH!!!! Waste of breath! I better go back and sleep!) OK!

Then Scapegoat walk away.....

Come to think of it, it sounds quite similar to our real life,
Chicken in the jungle - Manager's Manager
Parrot - Manager
Scapegoat - Employee

Manager and their manager always RIGHT! They can say anything they want. And with the word SORRY, they will expect we forget whatever they said. BUT...If we do something wrong and no matter how we say SORRY to them, we are dead meat! They will REMEMBER our FAULT FOREVER and EVER, until the day they die!

I remember mom taught me, we need to apologies to people sincerely, personally if we happen to do something wrong on the other person. We cannot just walk away and hope that time will clear off everything.

Hmm...could it be, the higher you climb, the more things need to be downloaded into your brain, so you delete the morale value that we learn from school???

I want to be a manager

Before today, if you ask me whether i want to be a technical person or people manager, without hesitate, i will tell you, "I want to be technical person!" But, remember, there is 2 fix constants in this world, which is 1. People will die 2. Change. So AFTER yesterday's "meaningful" conversation with my superior, i change my mind, I WANT TO BE MANAGER!!!!! You must be wondering what makes me change my mind. Let me tell you few good points to be manager.

1. Manager doesn't need to know much
2. Manager can SIMPLY make their OWN ASSUMPTION BASED ON WHATEVER they think
3. Manager can come to work late and go off early, reason "busy with off hr meeting"
4. Manager can do WHATEVER they like with justification "It's good for you and the company"

So, what should i wait any longer? Since there is so many good points to become manager, of course i want to change my career path. Ok, let me tell you what makes me change my mind!!!!! Pls turn your cellphone, pager, house phone, tv, radio off....sit back relax and enjoy yourself!

Yesterday, my manager (M) told me, her boss (YS) ask her what's wrong with me.
Before this, let me briefly describe the character of the story to you, like what we used to do when we watch movie.
LYS - she's a dungu manager, where she has SINGLE eye lids but she likes to put 2 patches of
BLACK eye shadows on her eyes, so from far, people thought she has BIG EYES...hiaks.
M - she is our manager but she act like highly paid admin to us, everything also don't know
J - me me me....
M is my manager, J is me

M: YS asked me "What's wrong with Joanne, how come she comes to work late and leave
early?"
J: (i puzzled and immediately piss off by this statement) Huh? I usually come in before most
of our team mate and usually the last one to leave.
M: Hmm..then how come YS says so?
J: (Oh..i know) Oh, could it be last Friday she sees me walk in around 9 something? I brought
my son to see doc as he is not feeling well
M : hmm...maybe
J: By the way, she must be coming in after me and leave almost same time as me, then only
she can see me coming in late and leave early...right?
M: (keep quiet...expected, as she doesn't has her own opinion)
J : And also, i car pool with hubby, u think possible for me to come in late and leave early?
M : Oh yeah hor...yeah yeah yeah...(well, again, her usual response, DUH!)
J : oh..could it be she sees me carrying my big bag that i keep my milk bag? And usually when
i go to Mother's room, i carry the bag together with my water container, she thought me
just come in when she sees me in the morning, and she thought me going back when she
sees me in the afternoon. I express milk 2 times in office
M: (Again with the same expression) Oh yeah yeah, maybe....
M : How many times your express milk in office?
J : 2 times
M : You still breastfeeding your son? He's turning one soon right?
J : Yes, still breastfeed
M: No plan to stop yet?
J : (hubby actually said can gradually stop, but i'm not going to tell M) No plan to stop yet,
will continue bf until no supply
M: (pause for a while) Actually, it's good...good that you can continue and still have supply.
good good...
J : DUH!

KNS, MF..Pardon my language..i feel upset with this stupid accusation!!!
First, they forced me to move to another area and i just follow whatever their instruction, didn't make any complain or noise...and now find fault with me..DUH!!!!!!!

Then, i walk back to my place, jump up and down ...when i told my team mate about our conversation, most of their reaction was

• "Since when u come in late and leave early so often!"
• "die lah, Joanne comes in around 8am and goes back after 5:30pm, yet the mgmt says she comes in late and goes back early, then next time we all have to come by 7am and go back by 7pm!!!"

Bla bla bla bla bla...then i went to mother's room to express milk! And also consult my english teacher on how to draft a nice email to chicken in the jungle as i feel unfair with such an accusation on thing that i didn't do!!!!!!!

After that, i drop LYS an email, tracked she read it or not..i send the mail at 5.28pm and she read it at 6:33pm. Until now, she hasn't reply my mail yet. Maybe she needs to ask her hubby or her group of "consultant" to draft the email. What do you expect, the higher you climb, the less intelligent you will be!!! Hahahahaaaaa...

So at the end, YES, i WANT TO BE MANAGER!!!

New Job

In few days time, i will move to a new role. Still working in the same company, same dept, sit on the same chair, working from the same cubicle using the same laptop, the only different is report to diffent boss , handle different thing, isn't that interesting and cool? Am i looking forward to take up the new role? Errm..ok lah...what to do, need the money to feed myself, my son, my dog...and errm...my hubby! hahaha..

Moving forward, for the initial 6 mths, i could sense that i will work as a freshman, picking up new thing as i am consider new to the new role...need to famliar myself with all the terms, and also get to know the user well...be "nice" to them...haha! Wish me luck!

Something about my job

Ewwww...what a boring topic. Yes yes, i know it's boring, but i need to let go my feeling now! So frustrated after my usual weekly telecon with my boss.

Earlier, i checked with boss on what are the upcoming planning project than i can participate in, and the answer is, "nope, there isn't any upcoming project for planning, but for procurement team, they need some help" So, he asked whether can i help temporary. So, i agree with his proposal, but then, the feedback from procurement manager is, they need someone with content expert to help in the existing project. Hello...excuse me, it's in the middle of the project and you ask for help, and yet you looking for content expert...dreaming? WAKE UP WAKE UP! Then, ok, since they looking for content expert in procurement and i am not, then forget about it.

After that, boss approached me again, said that there is good opportunity in procurement whereby i can learn something new, good for my career development, as usual, management talk, bla bla..and indirectly want me to move to procurement. What can i say? So i said "ok ok " even though deep down my heart, i am not willingly to move to procurement, mainly few reasons :-
The mentor that i'm going to have will not be as GREAT as my current mentor.
The manager style is local manager, everything also want to know...sigh

I did have a 1:1 session with the procurement manager, i asked for specific role and responsibility, she can't tell, she can't give...so i feedback to my boss about this. And he said he will work on this for me...see, where got chance for me to say no with the arrangement...so sit and wait!

And today, boss told me, he,and the proc and their boss agreed with transitioning me over to procurement. Hello, agreed? Me agree? No no, i don't get to have any say! So gotta accept what is being put into my bowl, else i bet in the next round of redeployment, my name will be top of the list.

The whole thing looks like a trap to me, first ask me to help , then later said they decided and agree to move me to procurement. Even though there is thousand and one NO NO NO deep in my heart, i can't voice it out, because they won't listen!!!!! So what for i voice it out!

Apa ini!

Sometime, i don't understand....

When you go apply for a job, they will tell you..."sorry, you are not qualify for this position because you don't have relevant experience, you don't have the qualification that we are looking for....bla bla..." thousand and one reasons...

and sometime, in the org, u will see...someone being appointed to work at the position that he/she NEVER has experience before...but the hiring manager will have ONLY ONE reason to justify why he/she qualify for the position. They will say "he/she has wide experience in bla bla bla bla bla, that's why he/she is qualify for this position"

Funny boh...

this is workplace and this is politic, and this is how good your "shoe polishing" skill kick in

Captain jump ship!! Titanic liao lah!

Yesterday, we received meeting invitation from our tauke in US. He is also my direct report boss. As we screen through the recepients list, we found out that he invited all of his staffs to the meeting...sooooo as usual, we started to speculate..

"tauke got new role?"
"new tauke joining the team?"

Today, 9am!!! It's the time, it's the time!!

Tauke told us that he accepted new role and will move to his new role by June.
Oh no!! Captain jump ship!!! Titanic liao lah....

Sooo, the next question from us will be,
"who will be our new boss?"
"Will we report to local manager"

Since i have 1:1 with tauke today at 1pm, so i asked him...
At the same time, tauke asked me,
"What are the reaction for those in Penang?" hahahaha....so, i told him, "When we receive the meeting inv, we started to brainstorm possible outcome and jump ship is one of the possible outcome that we thought during the brainstorming seasson!!" haahahaha

Tauke is working with his tauke to sort out who will "adopt" us. And in 2 weeks time, we will know who is our new boss. Wish me luck!

Of all, i HATE org change the most!!! Duh!!! Hate this sssssoooo much...new tauke, new style....sigh...but this is part of life...have to face it.WISH me luck plsssssssssssssss!!!