I will keep my mouth shut from now onwards!

Glad that i have this little corner of mine to let me vent out my frustration, upset-ness, angry-ness as well as share my happiness.

Today, i got no clue what trigger the fire between me and my boss. All started with, i drop him an email telling him i will be working from another office. All these while, he is ok if we were to work from another office. But today...i receive an sarcastic email from him saying that if i am having intention to move to new job, then we do not need to talk about this. HUH? What? Talk what??

So i get piss off and replied his email saying that as of now, i have NO intention to move on to any new job, BUT, if he wants me to move out from his team, then i am OK! And instead of confronting me, he spoke to another manager of him and that manager become our messenger and break the ice and put off the fire between me and my boss. So i called my boss per his request, and he apologies to me saying he gets frustrated over on other issue, and not on me, and he doesn't mean to send out that email....Well, what can i do. I just say "ok". For those who know mandarin, 覆水难收 (spilled water can't be collected back), and whatever that said out which hurt people, no matter how many sorryssssssssss you said, it's still there. I told myself no point cried over spilled milk. ok...life move on...

In the afternoon, got an email from boss asking all of us to do some update. And the busy body me told him that actually we have one file in our shared folder. And for don't know what reason, he want to grumble on me to another person, he typed the message in my IM screen. The message doesn't seems to me, it sounds like he is typing to someone and saying that i always give negative feedback when he ask us to do something. Oh well well..lesson learn in hard way, NEVER and EVER be BUSY BODY. But, to be professional, i act as if i don't see the message and act dumb and offer help to consolidate the data for him.

And at this moment, when i get time to sit down and think over what happened on me today, i feel it's time for me to move on. Since he sees the messages from me at negative way, no point for me to keep working with him, the trust is not there anymore. I recalled back...i offer my help to consolidate data for him few times, and this is what i get in return. This is what he think about me. Why can't he put thing at positive way. When i told him we have data in shared point, why can't he just ask me whether are those data up to date? Why he needs to think that i refuse to do for him? Sometimes when he ask us to do some update, i will ask for a standard format, so that all of us in sync, so probably i am too busy body and he thought i reluctant to do and ask for excuses. I can't understand him. Maybe this is our communication gap or we are not meant to work together.

And from today onwards, i will keep QUIET and do whatever thing he wants WITHOUT asking for more info. I feel upset, down, frustrated, helpless, hopeless......but glad that i have 2 sweetheart at home to cheer me up. Both of them are in their lala-land. Gosh, today is mid-autumn festival and it's raining heavily out there, see, GOD also cry for me. Thank you GOD, at least u hear me!

Let's have fun!

Today is my 3rd day at my new world and apprently today is our department's team building day. We are going for lunch. And all of us thought that we need to go back to office continue to work after the lunch, however, our boss said NOPE NOPE NOPE!

According to him, in US, as long as it's team building day, the team observe half day off. So what we gonna do after lunch??

Hiking
Movie
Bowling

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And the final decision is Bowling. **what a relief for me** I so scared when someone suggested hiking. I am not gonna hike under hot sun, later i will come back like little red indian.

In another 25 mins time, we will call the day off and head to Golden Triangle at Juru Auto City for lunch. After that, we will be going to Megamall for bowling. Has been LONG time i didn't bowl, am sure i will wash the bowling drain clean and clear. And also hopefully my hand wont be cacat-ed by tomorrow.

Let's have fun!!

A whole new world

Today, remarks new journey for me, is a brand new day for me... a whole new world.

Wish me luck ! haha!

As of now, i am surfing net, chatting with friends, shaking my legs. Well, this is what a person will do or enjoy before they get busy , busy and busy! Don't envy me!

Bye Bye bitter life

It's my last day in J. I don't have mixed feeling, the only feeling that i have is HAPPY!!!! Happy!!! and Happy!!!

And i can't really wait to leave office by 12 noon. In case you wonder why 12 noon and not 5pm, let me tell you.

My dear boss want us to work on Sunday for half day, and to compensate the half day of Sunday, we get second half off on Friday. But u think can have epace mind on Friday second half when the rest of the world still working? Of course no way, still need to entertain phone call or email from work...duh! Tipu orang punya half day off!

ok, back to my story

Boss called me and asked me to return the laptop to her before i leave office and at the same time, she asked me to return the calculator!! WHAT?? Calculator???? She said calculator is one of the starter kit that company give to us!! WHAT??? I must be loosing my memory. I don't recall HR gave me any calculator as starter kit. And i told her, No calculator given to me when i join. Then u know what, she said some people they just go buy a RM10 calculator and give back to the company. WTF!! Company NEVER give me one, and now want me to buy one give back?? I already pay the company RM10k+ for short notice penalty, and now still want to get RM10 from me...duh!!! And since my senior, she left her calculator to me when she leave the company, so together with the laptop i gave back to OV.

When she sees the calculator, she's so happy..she happily said to me
"just now you said no calculator, and how come now got calculator"

I told her,
" This calculator is given by Cindy to me when she left the company"

She happily said,
"See, i told you, the company gave u guys calculator in the starter kit"

I was like, WHAT??? my english is too bad or what...i said "Cindy" gave to me..not Company!!! Duh. You know what, this OV, she doesn't allow us to purchase stationary from company. She said "go grab from hotel when u stay in hotel, no need to buy one!" WAH LAU EH! And each of our desk, there's one white board beside us, for the whiteboard marker also SENDIRI BELI! So when i leave, of course i bring along my whiteboard markers la, throw away also happier than give to her! All my pens, papers, bla bla, i bring home too! Leaving behind nothing to her!

Anyhow, glad that i am leaving!!! And going to start my new journey in life!

Coutdown to the day

I am counting down to the DAY....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I am requesting to leave my existing company with short notice. With this, i need to pay the short notice penalty. I will need to pay for around 1.5 mths salary. Still pending for our C&B officer to let me know the amount.

During this time period, "she" still bug me a lot! And last Wednesday, customer escalated as my replacement didn't respond to their email. "She" called me up and scolded me WHY i didn't ask my replacement to reply customer's email. I was like , "WHAT???" Why do i need to remind my replacement to reply email? I thought he suppose to know what he's suppose to do! I was so mad and i slam the phone! So piss off...

Never mind, another week to go!

What have i done on this auspicious day 09/09/09

Lots of people especially couple choose to get registered, married on this auspicious day, 09/09/09. SO DO I!! Me getting married? Nope, me going for giving birth? Nope, me going for my birthday celebration? Nope......then what did i do then...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I, finally TENDER my RESIGNATION! After so long, finally i did that on this auspicious day. He said i should have done it on 09/09/09 09:09:09am! Geez, i missed the auspicious time though. Never mind, i pick the day but not the time!

With this, i hope good luck will come to me and follow me as long as i wish!

Is this what i want?

Recently, i being assigned something new in my job. And things started to change, my nightmare come...

First of all, i being escalated by the customer for no reason...darn
Second, again i bring escalated by the customer for no reason...double darn...
Third, Fourth will be same too....

I really have no idea why that lady keep biting at me. Friend said, maybe she afraid of me will go complain on her, so she complain and back stab me first. Well, frankly, ever since i start to take up this new assignment, i feel very upset, unhappy, and every night i have to work til late night, midnight, and i am working now. While waiting for data loading, i sneak and update my blog. Feel so guilty as i didn't update my kids blog promptly. I will try my best to update theirs.

Usually i will be in the room with the 2 kids, tugging both of them at the same time. One hand hugging Kaitlyn and the other hand pat Kelvin. But for these few night, i need to shut my ears as Kelvin will cry so badly when he doesn't see me in the room when he wants to sleep.While i am typing this, i heard Kelvin crying in the room. But, i can't walk into the room, coz when he sees me, he will cry even louder. so i will leave to hubb to handle him.

As for Kaitlyn, mom needs to help me tug her to sleep. Every night, mom will let her sleep in cradle in her house, then send her home and make sure she's still sleeping when she reached our house so that i can continue to do my work without interruption. And u know what, i used to nurse her before she sleeps, and for these few days, because i am so tight up with my FOREVER unfinished job, so i didn't nurse her, mom bottle feed her and tug her to bed. And i noticed that, for those night that i didn't nurse her before she sleeps, when she wakes up at middle of the night, she will look around as if she is looking for something and when i go near her, she will throw me a SWEET smile middle of the night and continue to sleep. My heart sank when i see her doing so. I feel so guilty.

I am not sure what i should do next!
I am so upset at work, and i am having 2 upset kids at home. All because of me. Sometimes i am so frustrated coz i need to stay late and get my job done and i am so tired, so i will be a bit frustrated when Kelvin wants to play with me. I will just shut him off. I am such a lousy and bad mom! As for hubb, i hardly talk to him nowadays, coz i feel exhausted and tired, and i don't know how and what to tell him. I don't want to bring the unhappiness from work back home, but my face and expression betray me! I am such a lousy wife at the same time too!

PLEASE tell me, what should i do. Seriously, if my company ever offer VSS again, i will TAKE IT without any DOUBT. I am willingly to forgo my pay and what i want is happy life. I am very tired and exhausted. GOD, HELP ME if you HEAR ME!

My resignation story

On 28th Jan 2008, I finally tender my resignation with mixed feeling. I feel happy that finally I am out from this group and I feel sad as I am leaving my fellow good colleagues and friends! Between money and friends, sorry, I have to forgo friends as I work for money, I need the money!

If I don’t work for money, the day when I know my review result, I will already tender my resignation. Work place is no longer as fun as before, it’s getting more and more policical which I don’t see it earlier.

When I tender my resingation,
1. My manager told me she can sense it and she expcet resignation from me, just matter of time
2. I told her I will offset my leaves and work until the Friday on the same week, she even told me I can stop working on the Wednesday in the same week. See, she can’t wait to kick me out! She indirectly force me to on leave early.
3. She said she know that I am top performer when I was in business operations group, however, unfortunately I am not top performer when I’m in solution group, she said it’s a JOB MISMATCH! Hello, I love this job very very much before I start report to her, after report to her, my life so misetrable!

She said she will inform her boss IMMEDIATELY about my resignation,both of them must be happy and celebrate my resignation with champaigne.

On 29th Jan 2008, she called me me up and hurry me to send the hard copy of resignation to HR. Wah lau, can’t wait to kick me out. Afraid I may chicken out and don’t want to resign…NO WAY! And after that, she still doesn’t want to give me peaceful time, she called me up in the afternoon, pastering me with my remaining leaves. She said I have too much leaves and eventhough I offset all leaves, I still have extra leaves and this will make Finance has hard time to calculate my pay for me. Hello, u thought Finance people so useless huh! C’on, they just pay based on formula, won’t make any mistake! I control my temper, else I will shout over the phone. But this fella keep pastering me, until I cann’t stand and I told her I don’t want to discuss this with her again, asked her to check with HR! Then I hang up the phone!C'on, i am leaving and why can't she just leave me alone. I wont blame her for not talking to me....i will feel happier in fact.

I had my exit interview with HR on 1st Feb and i told HR what she told me, she sense it, she bla bla bla...the HR personnel look at me, give me blank look. I also even add in salt and pepper by saying this is very unprofessional, right? And she agree with me! And i told her what my manager's explanation for the job reclassification and also review ranking, HR told me whatever reasons that my manager gave me WAS WRONG!!! So what say you....work for such a always cannot convince you then choose to confuse you manager, will you have a peaveful day, will you have a bright future?

And on 1st Feb, we had farewell lunch. I don't want to attend it, but because the manager asked one of my close lunch buddy to arrange it, so don't want him to be in difficult position, so we went for it WITH HER! We met one of the old colleague and when the old colleague dropped by to say hi, the manager even said "hope that the next job that i have will be better!" Apa lar her, no one ask her to give any comment, why can't she just keep quiet and eat her food...and THANKS to that great friend, he replied to her saying " DEFINATELY she will". Hahahahaha....with such a simple comment, this make HER to shut her mouth. Whoever eat chillipadi, whoever feel the heat lah!

whether i make the correct move to leave Agilent or not, i am not sure...but one thing for sure is, i make the CORRECT move by leaving her GROUP, by LEAVING her GREAT supervision!!!

What makes me change job

Never thought that i will tender my resignation. After working in Agilent for 6 yrs and 3 months, on one fine day, 28th Jan 2008, i walked to my manager with an envelope in my hand, hand it over to her, YES, i tender my resignation.

Without any pre-alert, i being asked to move to another field which is consider quite new for me. Can i say NO? Nope, it's top down decision, whether i want it or not, i need to follow the instruction. So, effective 1st Sep 2007, i moved to procurement team, still as Solution Engineer, instead of supporting planning, i am being assigned to support procurement. At the same time, there is one mentor being assigned to me. During the time, i started to hate my job, but i need the money, so i just keep quiet, do whatever the manager or the mentor ask me to do, be it from "study how to link oracle table" til become other people's assistant to schedule meeting or to take note testing results!

Well, everything has a limit. The thing that triggers me to look for other job is the yearly review result. I had the worst comment and review, never had such a big joke throughout my entire career life. It's zero increment and with the lowest rank! I do try to tell myself, "it's just a review, and i will do it better this year", but, at the end, i lost to myself. I cannot overcome myself, so in order to make myself not so miserable, i start to look for a job.

Out of sudden, a head hunter called me up and tells me about this job. Without any hesitation, i told the head hunter go ahead to submit my application to the hiring company. And GOD hear me, within few days, i actually received 5 interview requests from various companies. I put high hope on this company's interview, and the rest of the companies' interviews, i just attend it for fun, after all, it has been 6 yrs i never attend any interview mah!

The job offer came in in just 2 days time. Even though i have some hard time during the interview, but at the end, i got the job! BINGO, thank you GOD, you hear me!!!

When i send out goodbye mail, i received lots of response from colleagues, all of them said it's a surprise to them. Well, it's a surprise to me too! I NEVER expect i will resign from Agilent, but......i have no choice!